You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
