Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
