I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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