you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
