im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize