No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
