my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
