Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
