Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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