so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
