do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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