The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
