you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize