guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
