It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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