So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
