dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize