I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
