please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize