my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it was like eating out sand paper
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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