So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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