I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
