so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
