So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
