dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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