She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
