I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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