I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
