i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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