My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize