we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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