i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
