Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Spinthewheell hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.

Fav 16 4784 1125
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.

Fav 19 957 5422
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days

Fav 10 5154 1531
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people

Fav 28 1567 5830
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.

Fav 2 2339 1090
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

Fav 2 2171 1021
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing

Fav 6 3210 1125
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(320): View more from Minnesota

There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.

Fav 7 693 148
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice

Fav 0 91 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT