Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
