help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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