I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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