my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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