Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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