That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
