everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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