so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
