So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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