I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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