K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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