I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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