Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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