Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
