wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
