sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
