So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
there is glitter all over my balls
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