I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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