i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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