how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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