Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
