Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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