I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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