Say something about gay babies.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
