After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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