We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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