i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
