okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize