Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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