i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
