Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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