Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
