therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
