whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
